We’re excited to welcome a very special guest to the Glamorise blog today with a powerful message on self-love. Morgan Louise is a professional model and body positivity advocate who talks the talk, walks the walk and nails every pose with curvy perfection.
Since the second grade, I remember every opportunity I had to make a wish — every coin tossed into a fountain, every birthday candle blown out, every shooting star — I wished to be thin and beautiful. The SECOND GRADE.
It breaks my heart to remember that and to realize I’m definitely not the only little girl who thought the most important thing in life is to be thin and beautiful, and that those two things are synonymous, like a Venn diagram where the circles entirely overlap.
Now, my ultimate career goal (and life goal, really) is to help everyone realize that fat and beautiful are not mutually exclusive, and that despite this myth, fat people can do amazing things.
Although I definitely am one to believe that all my struggles brought me to where I am today (and I am loving that place), I still wish I could tell my younger self a few things (besides to stop over tweezing your eyebrows and wear SPF every day).
1. First Things First: You Can Dream So Much Bigger
You really have no idea what you’re capable of if you stop obsessing over being thin and start thinking BIGGER about things that actually matter.
Believe it or not, being bigger does not have to hold you back from anything you really want to experience in life, so stop thinking that once you lose weight your life will really begin. Start living it now.
2. Fat Is Not a Bad Word
Once you realize this, it will stop having so much power over you. Words do have power if you let them.
You’ll hear so many messages from media, family and friends that your body is wrong and needs to be made smaller, but you have to realize this isn’t just about you. They’re also struggling with the pressure to conform to this societally-accepted “ideal” and projecting that burden onto others too.
You’ll be surprised what kind of impact you’ll have on these same people when you reject this anti-fat stigma and start living in your newfound power.
3. Diets Don’t Work
According to statistics, 95% of people who diet and lose weight will gain it back in 1 to 5 years. After 10 or 12 years of yo-yo dieting, restricting for months and binging after the weight loss plateaus, you’ll realize you’ve ruined your metabolism.
Each time you lose 20 to 50 pounds you just gain it back plus an extra 5 or 10 because you really, really missed chocolate. The sooner you realize diets don’t work and learn how to eat intuitively, rather than restrictively, you’ll stop struggling with cravings and your weight will actually go down and stabilize without even thinking about it. (1, 2)
4. Don’t Worry About Boys
First of all, make yourself and your self-love your priority. I know you’re worried that you’re unlovable because you don’t get the attention from boys that your skinny friends do now, but I promise you that later on, you’ll wish you got LESS male attention.
Sure, you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but once you recognize your worth and own your own sexuality, you won’t stand for being objectified or fetishised by men who don’t really see you or realize how lucky they are to even be in your presence.
5. Mainstream Media Is Not Your Friend
You can (and should!) curate the media that you consume in order to unbrainwash yourself from this socially accepted ideal — from the social media accounts you follow to the television shows you watch — so that you feel represented in what you’re seeing, and you’re weeding out those sources that perpetuate self-criticism.
The sooner you start to purposefully seek out what makes you feel good and toss out what doesn’t, the sooner your whole life will blossom. This applies to everything, including relationships and friendships, not just the media you consume.